How To Tell You’re Getting Old Pt. 1

I’m still in my 20s, but being crippled and having grey hair really makes me feel like I’m getting old sometimes. 30 is sneaking up on me faster than I’d like, I’ll admit it.  While it’s true that you really are only as old as you feel, sometimes I wonder if it’s possible for our bodies to forget the fact that they’re becoming decrepit.

(You’ve just been warned that this post is going to include poop.  The code word we use for our body’s natural function of eliminating all the good things we eat is “frogs”. So in order to lessen the shock to all of your delicate sensibilities I’ll be talking about frogs instead of poop.  There you go.)

 

Back to getting old. I had been craving sushi for months, so the other day I finally stopped at my favorite sushi place that has all-you-can-eat sushi for just $20 during lunch.  It had been a long week, so I indulged in all the glorious raw fish and spicy mayo that my crippled little body could handle.

Mmmm, seafood salad

 

After I’d gone back to the boyfriend’s house to watch his sick kid and work overtime, the need to bear frogs hit me like a ton of bricks. This time, the memo was: “FROGS. NOW.”  Little did I know that my body no longer enjoyed my favorite meal.  As I was taking my time I realized I didn’t eat as much sushi as I normally do when I get all-you-can-eat, but my digestive system didn’t send out the memo that they’d no longer supported my sushi habit. WTF.

 

I was thinking about how I was going to tell the boyfriend this funny little fact when I realized that OLD PEOPLE KEEP TRACK OF WHAT MAKES THEM HAVE TO POOP.  This is the first step in me getting old!  (For those of you wondering why on Earth I’d share this with my boyfriend, let me tell you that he was the one to come up with the code “frogs”. This little tweet should shed all the light you need on that subject.)

 

I was thrown back to all of the weird conversations with my parents, uncles, and grandparents about what food made them have frogs. Why can’t we eat at this place for my birthday? It makes someone have frogs. Why can’t grandma have the cookies I baked? They make her have frogs. All of the frog-inducing food memories from my childhood came flooding back.

No thanks, dolly

Even though I’m not even 30 and I’m not really getting old, this was a sobering moment for me this weekend. My body may pretend it wants Geritol, but my brain says no! Let’s see how long I can keep this going 😉

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Categories: frogs, getting old | 1 Comment

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One thought on “How To Tell You’re Getting Old Pt. 1

  1. Wausau Mining Company has been known to cause frogs. Angelo’s, not so much. Just awesomeness.

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